Official Report: Bert and Ernie


A few days ago the Library announced its first statement regarding the capture of the celebrity monster fugitives: Bert and Ernie.

Today The Library of Living Monsters is pleased to present you with the official story of the arrest and finding.

What follows bellow is a true account.

Since 1969 the library has chased the pair known as Bert and Ernie. Their attitude to monster human segregation and the unwritten rules of monster kind was insult not only to the Library but to all living monsters everywhere. Where others hid in the shadows of castles, dwelling in haunted houses or under beds. This pair flaunted themselves on national television, each and every morning. Seamlessly unopposed they would attempt to corrupt children, sometimes whole groups at a time. Hypnotizing them with their use of simplistic spelling and rubber ducks.

This went on for years.

The pair grew with wealth and power each decade, to the point where they were considered a treasured couple of television history.

Little did people realize the true nature of the pair behind the scenes.

These shots show Bert and Ernie stood outside their mansion casting spells over the innocent towns people bellow.

Bert and Ernie

Bert and Ernie outside their mansion casting evil spells

Actions like these went un-investigated by local authorities. The Library of Living Monsters knew of these attacks and were investigating them with severe caution and interest. The Library knew only to attack when the pair slipped up; they were too strong for an all-out assault.

Here are several details from surveillance reports that show the true nature of the pair and offer an insight into the duos haunting and cruel lifestyles.

One report stated that the pair liked to hypnotize visitors of their TV show and keep them as slaves. It further states that they would make these “slaves” carry them around everywhere they wanted to go.

Slaves carrying the pair

Hypnotized members of the public, forced to carry the duo around everywhere

Another report by the Library’s Curator tells of how the duo would go to local parks and scare passersby by removing body parts and jumping out from behind trees.

Bert and Ernie in a park

Bert removes his head preparing to scare passersby. Ernie laughing.

Finally, due to a tip off from a brave neighbour the Library was made aware that the pair would be spending Halloween away at their farm. The secluded area was perfect for the surprise arrest we here had been waiting for. Carefully the curators present waited for the perfect moment to strike and when the evil duo seemed to be preparing to drive their tractor, the curators did just that.

Here is a photo of the pair following the arrest. As you can see, when they realized their reign of terror had come to an end they began to beg for forgiveness.

A job well done by the brave curators of the Library, our thanks are with them.

Following the arrest the pair began to cry

Bert & Ernie following the realization of their arrest, began to wail for forgiveness.


Warning: Tomorrow Night !


As you may already know, tomorrow night is All Hallows’ Eve.

Tomorrow night is a night that should of course be enjoyed to its full. Sweets should be eaten ! Apples should be bobbed ! Monsters should roam the streets ! But just remember ladies and gentleman, all is not as it seems. What you may think is an innocent choir boy in a bed sheet, or a preteen wrapped in toilet roll. Could possibly be one of the few remaining vigilante monster that have managed for years to escape our Curators clutches.

Here at the library we are offering a guide.

A guide of monsters to watch out for, protocol when faced with these monsters and of course how to contact the Library if indeed needed.


You presumably over the course of the evening encounter many apparent creatures and ghouls. Here is a compiled list of monster which should not be opened the door too. If you indeed encounter any of the fugitives. Please send a photo to the Library at this address:

Here the library can deal with all suspected cases and build from there. Your contribution would be much appreciated.

1. The Monster Kitchen Appliance

A lesser known monster. But one that shows up every Halloween. Hard to spot and often hard to work out quite what it is. The Monster Kitchen Appliance has the knack of change his appearance each year. From the Kitchen sink to the dishwasher or even the oven. The Monster Kitchen Appliance has caused terror each year. His shape shifting abilities mean he has gone undetected by the Library’s Curators for over 15 years. Often he appears to be bedraggled and made of cardboard and egg cups. Beware. This is a ruse we have come accustomed to regarding the Monster Kitchen Appliance. As hi-tec or as shambolic as it may appear. The Monster Kitchen Appliance must be found.

The Monster Kitchen Appliance photo

The Monster Kitchen Appliance, last Halloween he was spotted as a Washing Machine.

2. King Kong

Despite his large size, Kong or King Kong as he is known to his subjects,  has evaded capture and sighting since 2005. Film maker Peter Jackson was the last to actually spot the destructive monster. His subsequent documentary of the beasts attack on New York City shows the startling magnitude of the necessity to capture the beast. Any sightings at all, do please get in touch with your local curator at the above address.

Picture of King Kong

Artist representation of the beast known as Kong.

3. SAM

Sam maybe the most secretive and well protected monsters on the loose from the Library. His size and stature mean Halloween is the only safe time for him to appear. No sightings have occurred outside of Halloweens 24 hour period. Sam is often viewed as a cult monster. Worshiped and praised by many for his dedication to the Halloween spirit. This does not alter the fact he is a highly dangerous and frightening beast. If you are unlucky enough to be greeted at your door by his sack covered face. Alert the Library immediately !

Photo of SAM

The last sighting of SAM. His public appearances on Halloween know no bounds.


For years Ernie and Bert have wreaked havoc for the Library’s Curators. Publicly mocking them with their constant TV appearances and Fame. These two will be seen tomorrow night. Please report any sightings at the given email address. Future cases involving these two will be addressed later. But for now. They must be found.

Photo of Bert and Ernies

Bert & Ernie outside their house of evil, Casting spells onto innocent towns folk. One of their many terrifying acts of monster cruelty.

5. The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man has been in custody of the Library at 67 differing occasions. However each time it has proven impossible to maintain his capture. Due to of course the nature of his being… Invisible. If tomorrow night you have any “invisible acts” of curious happenings or sighting. Please send your photos to the Library address.

No photo representation available.

Though many have tried to capture the essence of his personality in films that may be found in the Motion Theatre of the Library.

There we have the top five monsters the Library hope to locate and curate this Halloween. But we can only do it with your help. Please contact the Library at : with any sightings or photos.